The Audacity of Happy

"We humans have a long and wonderful history of transcending our beliefs about what is possible."
-Gay Hendricks, The Big Leap

Something has shifted. Something monumental. Something that is driving me forward to release anything that isn't serving me and embrace the beauty, the sheer fantasticalness of life in a way that I never have before. 

I want to laugh with abandon. I want to sing until my voice is horse with pleasure. I want to dance with my face in the sun and my toes in the sand and my heart wide open to the glory of The Universe and all it has to offer my soul.

I want to purr like a contented kitten and sink into each moment and mark it as good and true and real and wholly whole. Ah, the Audacity of Happy.

And yet...as I bound up to the gates of the heaven that I worked so hard to create, the heaven that I literally fought tooth and nail for, the heaven that I meticulously put together with my vision, my Intentions, my ceremony-ing, my journaling, my praying, my bold actions... I stumble... and a kind of fear sets in. 

What if this isn't real? What if this is a fabrication? What if The Universe does not actually have my back? What if this is a cruel joke devised by some devil to prove once and for all that I am not worthy?

When I looked for quotes for this week-knowing that I wanted to write about how freaking good life can be-I had a really hard time finding one. The quote world has desperation covered. It has misery mastered. It has a corner on the market of "help me, please."

But flying free when one is beautifully, audaciously happy isn't a big quote category. I guess we don't need encouragement and inspiration nearly as much when we're happy. When we've come to the other side of the darkness - our arrival is our strength, the light is our reward. 

But as we step from the darkness to the light - that moment, that infinitesimal moment from grief or sadness or despair to happy can be really tricky. And it can dictate the quality of the happiness once we fully arrive. 

You see - if we approach our long awaited arrival with confusion and doubt, with lingering regret or remorse for what has already come to pass...we are wasting our days. We are throwing a bucket of ice water into the warm cozy nest we laid out for ourselves last spring. 

If we allow ourselves to collapse into disbelief that life couldn't possibly be this perfect, this miraculous, this fulfilling, this satisfying, this WONDER-FULL then we shut down the vibration we've worked so hard to arrive at. 

Why would we do that? Why would we rob ourselves of the best that this human world has to offer us? What fools we can be. What utter fools...

You must believe you are worth this. You must believe that you are here to experience all the joys and pleasures that life has to offer. You are not here to live out your days in misery and loneliness and pain. 

Do not let yourself believe that you aren't worth this. Do not let yourself believe that the patterns that have existed thus far in your life ARE YOUR LIFE.

THEY AREN'T.

Being absolutely present for the moments of sheer bliss in our lives requires guts. It requires faith. It requires vulnerability and the strength that you nurtured during your trials. That's how your misery served you. It strengthened you. It emboldened you to know the life you wanted to have. And it pulled you into action so that you can have it.

Now bless it, be grateful and let that shit go. 

This day is the day you've been dreaming about. It is THE DAY when your new life begins. It's time to relish the light, be grateful that the darkness has passed and purr with satisfying delight that you've FINALLY arrived. 

You got yourself here. Now live the life you knew was yours all along. 

Be Brave. Be Strong. Be Open. Be Vulnerable. Be Ready to Receive. Be Audacious.

Be Happy. You are worth it.

The LIGHT in Me Honors the LIGHT in YOU.