"We either live with intention or exist by default."
- Kristin Armstrong
So much of the time when thinking about and setting Intentions we focus on manifesting the "thing," such as a relationship, a job, a place to live, a project, etc. And while this is totally the first step if you are wanting to live with intention and create the life of your dreams, a huge part, the big part, gets overlooked—living the actual Manifestation.
It reminds me of a wedding or a birth... We spend all kinds of time, effort, and energy getting to that day, then living that day. But, that day only lasts 24 hours, and then you are married or a parent long-term. Totally different concept.
So I thought I'd dig a bit deeper today into setting Intentions for your relationship. In particular, your romantic relationship—whether it be a spouse or a long-term partner, I'd like you to consider the idea that this is something you can do together. Setting Intentions are powerful acts. It sends out signals to The Universe, and The Universe gets behind you in every way possible. And, imagine if you will, if the TWO of you set Intentions for your relationship. Do you know the power of shared Intention? It's tremendous!
So here are some ideas I have...
Think about how the two of you want to feel in your relationship. Envision what your relationship would look like if it were everything you wanted it to be. Have conversation around this. And if the whole Intention setting thing is hard for your partner to grasp or get on board with, you could phrase it differently, like you're creating a sort of mission statement for your relationship. Imagine if it could be everything you want it to be, what would it be, feel, and look like?
Instead of thinking about what your partner isn't bringing to the table in the relationship, think about what you are not bringing. It's so easy to get caught in this circle, which goes nowhere, of blame and shame. If you truly want to create the relationship of your dreams why wouldn't you allow yourself to look at your own contributions to the environment of your relationship and address them? Come to the table with truths about yourself and ownership of your issues. And an openness to the ideas of your partner. They may have insight that you do not have.
Choose intentional behaviors that you both agree to focus on over the next 6 months to a year. Intentional behaviours are actionable, positive, immediate, AND long lasting. You both have strengths and weaknesses in different areas, so you may have different intentional behaviors that you're working on.
Here's a good list of words to help spark ideas—
Patience, Giving, Openness, Kindness, Grace, Respect, Trust, Love, Caring, Attention, Listening, Curiosity, Understanding, Admiration, Support, Inspiration, Empowerment, Uplifting, Sympathetic, Empathetic, Showing Interest, Consistency, Loyalty, Acceptance, Challenge, Vulnerability
Create some Intention statements for your relationship using the words above. These statements reflect how you would like to move forward in the relationship. These are not goals. These are actionable Intentions that you live everyday.
If I feel closed off to my partner—I intend to love patiently with an open and giving heart.
If I am having issues with communication—I intend to practice listening and understanding with grace and respect.
If my partner feels they cannot fully trust me—I intend to build trust by opening up and showing vulnerability.
If my partner feels I'm not engaging with them and what's happening in their life—I intend to be supportive by showing interest and paying attention.
Write these Intentions on a sticky note or make some wall art out of them! 😄 Put them in a place you will both see everyday. Try to be as mindful as possible as you walk this path together. For some this exercise will bring bad habits out into the open—and that's ok. Recognize that if the two of you have decided together to do the work, both your Intentions are growth-oriented, and growth almost never comes without some knocking down of the old and rebuilding of the new. Be kind in the process.
Remind yourselves often that love is at work in your relationship and commend yourselves for wanting to do the work in the first place. That shift in perspective alone will move mountains. And extend grace to each other—especially the men as this does not come naturally or easily to most of them. So recognize and honor that by them showing up for this is a beautiful comment on how much they want it to work.
We're rooting for you and your relationship and holding space from here for more communication, more growth, more manifestation, and more LOVE. You got this!