In this post we examine some ways to support Enneagram TYPE 9: The Peacemaker and why Iolite is an ideal supportive gemstone.
If you need a quick recap on The Enneagram, you can learn more HERE. In this age of technology that keeps most of us at an arm's length hungry for connection, it's a beautifully reassuring tool we can use to know ourselves and each other better.
We hope to be in service with the Enneagram Collection by helping you get to know more deeply your own type, what nurtures you, how to help others by seeing them more clearly through knowing their type, and how to utilize the amazing power of gemstones to lean into and support each type.
And did you know each of us have ALL the Types in us. One or two are likely more dominant, but no matter your Type, understanding them all helps you better understand and have compassion for others.
According to our Enneagram expert Sarajane Case, Type Nines can be described as the following:
TYPE NINE | THE PEACEMAKER
Basic Desire: “It’s important to me that I maintain my peace of mind.”
Basic Fear: “I worry about creating rifts with people in my life that cannot be repaired.”
Super Ego Message: “I know that I will be ok as long as those around me are also ok.
Type Nines are empathetic, easy going, and peaceful. In childhood Nines learned that the best way to keep the peace was to minimize their own presence. They absorbed the idea that if they were to speak up and ask for what they need, then they would just be creating more problems. This can lead to a lifetime of learning to merge their desires with the needs of the room. A practice that ultimately makes Nines quite likable and also disconnected from a deep understanding of who they really are and what they want.
Type Nines are conscientious, adaptable, selfless, and likely the most likable person you know.
How Can I Support Myself As An Enneagram Type Nine?
As a Type 9, recognize that risk taking can be reframed as opportunities for growth and seek to take risks on a regular basis.
Give yourself permission to voice your wants, needs, and desires to others without feeling fear, guilt, or shame. Normalize asking for what you want, even if it may hurt someone else's feelings.
Set boundaries, especially in toxic relationships, without the need to explain. Feel the strength in that.
Remember that conflict is actually an important part of relationships and human life. Conflict isn't bad, it's an opportunity for necessary growth.
Honor the parts of yourself that encourage and facilitate peace with others. Recognize and celebrate the fact that you are a peacemaker, a lover, a kindhearted, generous soul who wants to do good in the world and see peace. Do things where those sorts of conflict resolution skills and compassion are needed.
Self affirm with the words "I matter, and other's opinions do not determine my worth."
How Can I Support Someone I Love Who Is An Enneagram Type Nine?
Because Nines so rarely rock the boat in fear of losing a person from their life all together, encourage them when they do have differing opinions or wants and let them know they are safe to express those opinions or wants.
Take them seriously when they ask for something and do everything you can to help them get it.
Encourage or facilitate some form of adventurousness in them. Plan a trip or encourage something slightly outside their comfort zone. AND listen to them if they say no and respect their feelings. It's all a learning experience for them.
Recognize when they do get loud—this may have been bottled up for sometime and isn't 100% just about what's happening currently. Encourage them to let steam out a little at a time instead of being passive aggressive and then explosive.
They will almost always put your needs ahead of their own needs, so ask them questions. What would you like to do? How are you feeling? What do you want? What do you need? This will help them articulate needs and not feel as though needs are hostile acts, but regular parts of human living.
Together with Sarajane we selected Iolite for Type Nines encourage self-awareness, self-expression, and discover and use one's own voice. Iolite is a remarkable stone that roots in a sense of worthiness and amplifies our abilities to speak up, to nurture our wounded inner child, set boundaries, and show up as ourselves without apology.