In this post we examine some ways to support Enneagram TYPE 4: The Individualist and why Sunstone is an ideal supportive gemstone.
If you need a quick recap on The Enneagram, you can learn more HERE. In this age of technology that keeps most of us at an arm's length hungry for connection, it's a beautifully reassuring tool we can use to know ourselves and each other better.
We hope to be in service with the Enneagram Collection by helping you get to know more deeply your own type, what nurtures you, how to help others by seeing them more clearly through knowing their type, and how to utilize the amazing power of gemstones to lean into and support each type.
And did you know each of us have ALL the Types in us. One or two are likely more dominant, but no matter your Type, understanding them all helps you better understand and have compassion for others. We've asked everyone at our office to take the test, and it's been a truly wonderful way to have a deeper understanding of each person as an individual and how best to talk to, motivate, and inspire them. It's such a gift.
According to our Enneagram expert Sarajane Case, Type Fours can be described as the following:
Type Fours are deep, expressive, and nostalgic. They often felt rejected by or different than their family of origin. This created a deep desire in the Four to not only be understood but to also find their personal significance. Type Fours tend to orient in the world with an awareness of what is missing. They see themselves as fundamentally flawed and often turn that internal experience into an external representation of being different or unique. Fours walk through the world with the belief that there is something everyone else seems to have but they don’t possess. The target for this may change from gumption, to work ethic, to charisma, to anything else under the sun. Through this belief they may find themselves feeling easily defeated. There can be a "why try if I’m only going to mess it up anyway?” approach to things.
Type Fours are emotionally in tune, aesthetically gifted, authentic, romantic, idealistic, and have a beautiful ability to see the world as living art.
How Can I Support Myself As A Four?
Even though you may feel overwhelmed at times by your emotions, know your feelings do not define you. Your identity is not based on how you feel. Emotions are temporary. It's good to think of yourself as a mountain. Steady. Permanent. And the emotions are clouds that pass by. It's important to create—it doesn't have to be art, it can be a anything you are passionate about. Through the process of creation, you'll find your footing and be able to express yourself in a way that will actually help define who you are and what you believe. Helping others is another way to satisfy the need to find meaning and build confidence and self esteem. Take care of yourself physically so you have the energy to create and watch your negative self talk. Replace the bad things you say about yourself with the recognition of all that you have accomplished.
How Can I Support Someone I Love Who Is A Four?
First and foremost you can be present, patient, and don't judge their waves of emotions. Give them alone time, so that they can process and decompress. It's nice to offer support and advice through gentle nudges and not demand they change. Have deep conversations with them because Fours thrive with depth and have little interest in or patience for small talk. They do love honest feedback, sincere compliments, and words of encouragement. Let them know and show them they are not responsible for everything. Help them by reminding them that no one is perfect if the become self critical.
Gemstone To Support Type Fours
Sunstone is the ideal stone to help support Type Fours because it facilitates self acceptance, which quiets the internal negative talk and helps the wearer understand they are unique, special, and deserve love just for being. Sunstone inspires an appreciation for one's own value—something Fours struggle with. It also helps to facilitate independence and originality, two other very supportive energetics for Fours who struggle with creation.